redmomoko (redmomoko) wrote,
redmomoko
redmomoko

Death-day

I've haven't posted in weeks- too much to say and too little time to say it in or just nothing worth saying.

The birthday was last thursday. 38th. For some reason it was my 40th two years early. Just devastating and horrifying in so many ways. For a girl who grew up believing that she wouldn't live past 18 realizing that I was going to be 38 was a shock. Also realizing that if I inherited the genetics of my grandfather then I have about 20 yrs left before the Alzheimers starts gave me pause. If I inherited the other genes then I have 30-35 before senility. So regardless of how long I live, I'm probably just over half through the cognitive functioning part. Which leads me to the question of what am I going to do with that 20 years? Because assuming I have 30-35 is just a stupid excuse to waste time.

The answer was in front of me, of course, and I took the plunge 'cause really what do I have to loose? It's shaken my life up a bit and it's why some of you have seen even less of me than before (if that is possible). It's been hard on the Captain too, but he's been supportive and only occasionally grumbly (tho in this case grumbly is good and helpful) and we'll just have to see how this continues to shake out.

And no I'm not discussing what it is so don't ask. You'd be bored by it anyway but I like it.
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